So guess what: Komodo is famous for it’s dragons. I know, don’t say I don’t know how to shock you. Next I’ll be telling you that the Tower in Pisa ‘aint straight.
For someone that only got 3 three episodes into Game of Thrones, my only real cultural reference point for dragons are the ‘How To Train your Dragon’ books by Cressida Cowell. She obviously never came to Komodo before she wrote them. These dudes are untrainable. Not because they’re savage and bonkers: because they’re really slow and evidently quite bloody lazy.
I mean check this one out: he’s practically dripping off the kerb:
The next in our popular series of animal dating apps is obviously going to have to be Dragon Grindr (Drgon Grindr) because these dudes are WIPED after a long and arduous mating season. That’s why they’re so skinny appaz. Which means they’re also HUNGRY. And here’s the only thing that stands between us and a dragon’s colon:
You too can be a dragon ranger on Komodo – the only job requirements are a cleft stick and nothing left to live for.
We did quite well to be honest. We saw the Oozing Dragon above at the Ranger Station right at the beginning and I figured that might be it for the big Ds. But shortly after setting off behind Stick Man we came across this guy, trying to have a nap out of sight and failing:
So that’s two dragons. And then we saw this chap:
Now he was literally sashaying like Ru Paul (I’ve got footage – ask me and I’ll show you) up the path through the jungle, forked tongue slithering in and out, straight out of Dragon Central Casting. He came right up to our group but I didn’t nab the money shot because – and I’m happy to admit it – I was hiding behind my children at that point. There’s that experiment with the monkeys and the hot floor (Google it) – well I just proved I’d throw my kids in front of a dragon to save my own leathery hide so don’t blame the monkeys.
Speaking of sacrificing your own kids, a little factoid: Komodos are cannibals but in a very specific way – the mothers will only protect their own eggs, not their young. And not only will they not protect their own young, they actually kill and eat their own kids, shortly after they’ve hatched. So Komodo babies wait until their Mums are out in the daytime (shopping? getting facials?) to hatch and then they scarper and shimmy up the nearest tree. Hardcore discipline skillz – you can bet your arse she could get them to tidy their room without much effort. But *shudder*.